Trust Your Feelings

Feelings can tell you a lot about another person.

People who manipulate use feelings of fear, guilt and obligation to get you to do things you don't want to do. Or to control you to retain certain benefits, privileges or status. Manipulators instil these feelings by becoming the bully or the victim.

The bully uses overt and covert tactics to sow anxiety or fear. Examples of overt tactics are threats, rage, micro-aggression or harsh criticism. Some covert tactics look like rumour-mongering, scapegoating, or silent treatment.

The victim makes themselves seem disadvantaged by planting feelings of guilt. Victims do this by endlessly complaining till they get attention. They also blame others yet take no accountability themselves. Or they constantly place their feelings and needs above yours because they matter more than you.

Not everyone is aware that they use emotionally manipulative tactics. There are learned behaviour to survive hostile environments.

When you become aware and recognise these feelings of fear, guilt or obligation within, take a step back and reassess your relationship.

Trust your feelings. Take the necessary action. Learn and grow from the experience.