How do you overcome fear when transitioning into a new culture?

Transitioning to a new culture can be exciting and mind-opening, providing endless possibilities. But it can also be daunting, uncomfortable, and frightening.

Transitioning into a new culture can mean moving to a new country, city, company, school, community, department, or team. Each of these subcultures has its unique environments, people, activities, and ways of interacting or working. It may expose us to different social norms, values, beliefs, and customs.

It is expected to feel awkward, scared, and anxious in a new culture. However, this state cannot last, as it is detrimental to our overall health and well-being.

There are ways to overcome these feelings of fear, adapt, and make the best out of any new situation. To overcome fear in a new culture, you must investigate and determine if your worries are legitimate, take small, low-risk steps, and slowly build confidence.

Humans have evolved to identify new things, people, or places as a “threat” to survival. According to Keith Rollag, management professor and author of What to do when you’re new says…

"From an evolutionary standpoint, trying new things, for much of human history, could have been dangerous,” He continues with “, Deep in our brains, there’s a primal fear of looking bad, a fear of not performing as well as others.” and “the fact that you’re meeting new people, new groups, new experiences, and that triggers a lot of that anxiety we have about being the newcomer.”

To overcome fear, we must first understand how it works.

What happens when we live in fear?

Fear is the signal from our body to prepare for action, protect ourselves and survive. When we face what seems to be a life-threatening situation, our brains gear up into either fight, flight, or freeze mode.

Fear starts when our senses detect a shape, sound, smell, taste, or sensation in the environment. Our brain picks up these cues and interprets them as either life-threatening or not. If a trigger is threatening, stress hormones, the nervous system, and muscles are activated to prepare us for action. Our complex brains, with billions of neurons, communicate at lightning speed, and our fear responses are almost always automatic and unconscious.

In a new culture, we must find ways to overcome our fears. The constant heightened state of fast breathing, heart racing, and muscle tensing will be detrimental to your overall health and well-being in the long term. This state will also influence your productivity and performance in the workplace and your ability to live a fulfilling life.

A new culture allows us to learn about others and gain social skills, which we wouldn’t have if we remained in our comfort zone. However, if fear controls us, our interaction with others will fight, flight, or freeze. Fear pushes others away and keeps us safe in self-isolation or our comfort zone. It’s like an invisible protective wall is built to protect ourselves from others in the new culture. If steps are not taken, you will miss the many fantastic opportunities to learn, grow, and become more resilient and adaptable.

I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear. Rosa Parks

Is your fear real or imagined?

We are shaped by learnings, emotions, and reactions from our past experiences and use them to guide us in our present day. But what we learn from the past doesn’t necessarily mean that it remains true in the present or future.

For example, there was a famous incident in Starbucks where a manager called the police to arrest two customers because they hadn’t ordered any food or beverage. They had only been in the cafe for 10 minutes and were waiting for a business meeting to start when the manager made the call.

The arrest caused a public outcry. Why? Because the customers are African American. A month later, Starbucks promptly responded by closing all stores in America to provide racial-bias training to all their employees. Why had the manager called the police? Did the customers threaten the safety of the manager? Was it imagined? Was it a legitimate fear?

The challenge is that our biological reaction to perceived threats is often unconscious and automatic. This need to survive is heightened when a new person, environment, event, or anything presents. Because we don’t have historical and contextual information about the new culture, we react and behave based on what was learned from our past. This can be dangerous because it may mean that our reactions based on past experiences may not be accurate in the current reality.

For example, when someone speaks in a raised voice and a faster cadence, from your personal experience, it may mean that the person is angry and might become aggressive. In response, you become defensive and ready to fight back or run. From the speaker’s point of view, it is their way of showing interest and passion about the topic, not attacking the person they are speaking to.

Our fear has helped humanity survive for millions of years. But when misdirected, it stresses ourselves and others and prevents us from pursuing growth opportunities. When you encounter a new person, thing, event, or environment, take a moment and ask yourself, "Is this fear real or imagined?”

Steps to overcome fear successfully in a new culture

Whether in a new country, city, community, company or even department, being in a new environment can be daunting. Here are a few suggestions for overcoming fear and anxiety in a new culture.

Start with your interest or with the familiar

One great place to start is to consider your interests. Do you enjoy running, hiking, knitting, or reading?

Most places will have local groups or communities with similar interests. Please seek out others who share a common ground and connect with others on a common topic. From there, you can turn a conversation of mutual interest with an acquaintance into a friend who can provide advice and guidance in the new culture.

A leader I once knew from the boomer generation had a team of young millennials. Despite the generation gap, the leader spent time and effort connecting with their millennial employees by discussing and sharing news about their mutual interest in K-pop bands. While misunderstandings do arise, the mutual interest in K-pop bands helped maintain a strong team spirit.

Pick small and low-risk activities

Significant changes can shock the system, so much so that they may create a tremendous level of fear and anxiety. This may prevent you from engaging even in the smallest of activities. When in a new culture, pick activities that have minor consequences for yourself, your career, or your relationships.

You can take a different route to work. It could be trying a new restaurant or a new cuisine. Sit on a different seat in the office pantry. It could mean meeting for coffee rather than happy hour with your new colleague, date or acquaintance. Trying new and low-risk activities will slowly stretch your comfort zone and help you gain the confidence to try higher-risk activities eventually.

Reframe the situation

Fear comes from our learned way of thinking and perceiving a situation. For example, skydiving or a bungee jump can be life-threatening. But for many, these activities are seen as exciting and thrilling, and some have become addicted to them. It’s not because they do not feel the same sensations. It is because the way they view these activities is different.

When you find yourself in a new situation, reframe by saying this activity is “exciting, challenging, courageous.” When we practice reframing often, confidence grows. When you look back at all the new things you’ve tried, you’ll be amazed at your accomplishments.

Expect to feel fear

Yet, if we let fear run our lives, it will be detrimental to our well-being and performance at work, isolating and preventing us from living a fulfilling life. When fear arises, examine it and determine if it’s real or imagined. Take small steps to confront it and prove that you no longer let fear control your life. Finally, take the time to celebrate every successful confrontation, for you have become more confident, resilient, and more open to new worlds.

This post is updated from the originally published post on Culture Spark Global on 25 November 2021 and written by the same author, Ling Ling Tai.